Andra Day’s “Rise Up” song is giving me life as I write this post desperately seeking for some healing.
Last week was a tough week at home. One day I’ll tell you about it, but not today. I don’t have the words yet.
Today, I want to tell you about my 2017 word of the year because I need a reminder of why I chose that word, and that word my friends is Faith.
When defining Faith, other strong words come to mind: confidence, trust, complete belief, allegiance, and conviction. These words are powerful and carry so. much. weight. And that’s okay. They’re supposed to be heavy because there is so much personal meaning behind them.
My 2017 word was chosen carefully. It rolled around in my head among other words, at the end of last year but I finally landed on it one of the first few days of this year. I focused on putting myself “out there” in 2016 and it was just what I needed because I forced myself to be vulnerable, something that is not easy for me. Vulnerability is uncomfortable and makes me feel weak. I don’t like people to see me weak. I don’t like the way it fits me, but at the same time it was just what I needed last year. Read the post of my 2016 word of the year here
I chose to focus on the word faith at the start of the year because it gave me comfort and because I needed it most. Being vulnerable brings about positioning yourself for rejection, which I got last year, and got again in a different way last week.
When I chose the word, I needed it to focus on understanding that things happen when they need to happen and if they need to happen. Things don’t always happen the way you plan, no matter how well thought out plans are, or how well prepared you think you are, or how great you think you’d be. And you may never get the answer of why or why not things play out the way that they do. That’s how life works.
When I dream, want something so bad, try my hardest, work to get it, build hopes, and it gets taken away, it’s painful. I don’t want to hear any of the words in the above paragraph. I want to be angry at why the universe gave me a big, fat no when I feel I deserved a yes! I imagine this is something you can relate to? or have at some point?
When pain is too unbearable, too much to handle, I’ve always turned to my faith. I fold my knees down in my most vulnerable position, and I pray. It’s what I’ve always known to do. When a friend is hurting, I pray. When a sibling has a big day ahead, I pray. When a loved one is traveling, I pray. When things are outside of my control, faith is what I have (and writing as an outlet).
Last week’s wounds are still fresh because it’s inevitably pouring over onto this week. I’m still not ready to understand that things happen for a reason no matter how much sense you think that makes. But, I will choose to turn to my faith for healing. Faith has helped me heal before and it will do it again.
If you’re hurting this week like me, will you choose to rise up with me (however this looks for you)?
How do you heal?
How do you rise up when you get knocked down?